Being a twin

For as long as I can remember, people have always been shocked when they found out I have a twin brother. Maybe it is because twins aren’t as common. I’ve even had people ask me if I could read my brother’s mind (typical stereotype of twins). Well spoiler alert, nope, I cannot do that, though sometimes I admit it would come in-handy. According to my grandpa, there’s record of twins in our family, who would always be born after four generations have passed. Now, I don’t know if I believe this or not. He also said to me one time that he always knew one of his children would have twins. Kind of crazy if I think about it.

Growing up with a twin is, well, challenging. In spite of what some people may think, twins have very contrasting personalities. While my brother would love everything involving computers, science and math, I would love to draw, sing and be creative. We were so different that one of my teachers even said to my mom that she has never met twins as opposite as we were. On top of that, we had our moments when we really didn’t get along at all ( I think all siblings have that phase 😅)

I never saw this as something unusual though. I love the fact that we each have our own unique characters and interests. Even though twins share a womb and a birthday, it doesn’t mean that we are by any means similar. We are like night and day, two separate people, yet somehow, we are connected. Every time my brother would get hurt I would feel that pain. Every time he would be anxious for a grade at school, I would be as well and I am sure that he would say the same. It is a feeling that I can’t quite explain because it’s been there all along.

And so, I can say with absolute certainty that having a twin brother is one of the best things. Though I don’t really say it, I appreciate him every day, even when he barges into my room to tell me bad jokes or when he gets on my nerves or when he reminds me he’s 5 minutes older. He has and always will be there for me and that is the beauty of a brother-sister bond. Though we disagree sometimes, we know we can count on each other. Being a twin can mean chaos, but it’s also unique, beautiful and unlike anything else.

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Escape

Everyone needs an escape once in a while. This world is so imperfect sometimes that we have to find a way to recharge our batteries. Most of us want a quiet place, where your thoughts stop flowing like crazy maniacs and try to mess with you. It is a shelter of warmth and security, a mini “paradise” which allows you to escape reality or disappointment. And believe me, I’ve had my fair share of disappointments from people who I barely knew and people who were closest to me. There is nothing we can do about it other than trying to accept things as they are and be prepared for what’s to come. In other words, an escape place is essential to our mind. Some people search for it for years and others don’t realise that it’s just sitting there, right under their nose.

Ever since I was little I was drawn to the artistic side of life. I hated the logical point of view. I wanted to explore, to imagine, to comment and go beyond rational meaning. I was also drawn to drawing. I found this unexplainable joy whenever I would touch a pencil. If only did i know at that time just how much I would need drawing. As I grew up, I began to rely more and more on it. I was a bit of a loner back then, I didn’t mind it at first but at around 13 years old I began to worry about myself because every summer from 6th grade until the 8th grade I would be alone and drawing was the only thing that brought me happiness. I made comics of the person that I wanted to be, this powerful, confident, intelligent girl that could do anything she wanted without caring what others thought. Instead of thinking how lonely I was, I would just draw. My mind would stop shouting negativity as I was holding my pencil.

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After I entered high school for some reason I stopped drawing. I was no longer the lonely girl and I started to change, to shape into a better and more confident person. And so, I almost gave up drawing because I didn’t feel like I needed it anymore. How wrong was I… My senior year was probably the hardest year I’ve ever had to face. On one hand I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with my life and I was also going through some personal stuff too. One day though, everything changed. Somehow my passion for drawing came back and I was really nervous at first to pick up a pencil again, but I knew I had to do it. I questioned my ability to draw, of course, since it’s been a couple of years since I last made a proper sketch. I was scared that maybe I’ve lost it and I disappointment was written all over my faced as I realised how I’ve neglected a gift, a talent that got me through so many things. At that moment all I could think was “Okay, if I really lost my ability to draw I will do everything in my power to get it back.”

The thing is, when you love something that much you just can’t even process the possibility of it fading away from your grasp. I made my first few lines and from there, my mind stopped worrying. “I forgot how much I loved this” I thought. And from then on I couldn’t stop. Believe it or not, even with those years when I didn’t really practice my drawing, my skills were now better than ever. From then on, a new world was born, a world that will never disappear, a world which will never let me stop drawing ever again because if I really were to completely stop, it would be like losing the ability to breathe. Some people try their hardest to find their escape, and mine has been there all along but I was oblivious of its existence. “This is my escape” I whispered…

 

 

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PS: I have an Instagram dedicated to my drawings if you want to check it out @acourtofartanddreams